Saturday, December 31, 2011

What "Fuck You" is really about.
Its new years eve, and you know what that means...


I just got done reading this. Of course the book and the movie have some differences. I'm not going to be one of those people who say "the book was better" because thats ignorant. If you can't a make distinction between a book and a movie as two different creative outlets, well then you are a jackass.

I feel like this song is not okay.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Cartoon I made about Dwayne Johnson.

This short film is...oh man.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I hosted a goddamn wedding reception today and didnt cuss once. yeeeee.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Spiderman In a Nutshell:

Fookin' like some spid-ahs gonna bite some guys gramm-puh and he turns into like a wrassler or some shit to save the citys paypah, I think its called deh beagle.
My friend drew me this pic of Leslie Hall.

So I countered with a drawing of my own.

The eel had a decision to make. To go out like a chump or to take the alligator with him. He went out like a champ.

Just finished another Sam Pink book. This one is a collection of plays. Here's what the back of the book says because Im not going to type out a play:

"Why are three violent policemen in search of The Greatest Dad in the World? More importantly, why are two young men at a fast food restaurant talking about freezing bees? And good god, why are there two young ladies in the backyard during a Halloween party, shaving each other legs with a piece of broken jaw bone?

What will become of the old woman who slits her young boyfriend's throat? and why does she give him a calculator for his birthday?

Where will you be when the Self-Esteem Holocaust comes home?"

What I did the other day. When you broke as shit, you give plasma for dat paper.

This show is fucking crazy. It shows various badasses in the criminal world and gangs. One gang from Chicago, the Blackstone P. Rangers, started fucking with Muammar Qaddafi. Yea, the terrorist from Libya. Shit's wild.

Friday, December 9, 2011

It's finals week. Fuck this.

Friday, December 2, 2011

In honor of seeing muppets, Im posting this. Pepe had like three lines and one scene in the new muppets, HE GOT FUCKING SHAFTED. LOOK AT THIS COMEDY GENIUS.

kids faces when they learn about the guillotine. 

What a dumbass phrase.

who actually uses shirt pockets?
Shitty caricatures of animals as leaders, OH FUCK.

Stanley from the office GETTIN' DOWN. hahaha daria cosplay.


someone out a professional recorder player.

Monday, November 21, 2011


Okay this is a line from the poem "I hope I give a good convincing thank-you to someone before I die"-

"I want to offer to help someone with his/her groceries then throw the groceries on the ground and bend myself into a crab-like stance, hissing at the person to make him/her think I feel threatened..."

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Look! My first stop motion cartoon. This was just sort of a trial run.

Friday, November 18, 2011

This video taught me about animals, I seriously thought that bears sat on lillie pads.
I feel dirty watching Spongebob at night.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Duggar kid math. There are twenty of these fuckers, if all twenty have another twenty kids, then there will be 400 of these THINGS walking around.

this is the song that made me fall in love with horse the band.

Im not sure how, but these and terrorism are mos def related.

Im reading this right now, its a collection of poems by Sam Pink. Here's an excerpt called Four Apologies:

"This is an apology to my roommate. You're right, I should've asked you if you wanted an "arctic adventure". And I should've explained that an "arctic adventure" is when I dump a bunch of snow on you while you're sleeping. But we need to resolve this. Because someone needs to cook dinner for you and then not hear the words "thank you" even though they're so easy to say.

This is an apology to Superman: Superman, I am sorry for shitting on a likeness of you when I was in kindergarten. I didn't know I had the flu. If I had known, I would've worn my striped underwear. But we have to move on. You mean too much to me.

This is an apology to my bathroom floormat. I am sorry. I didn't known that I'd become too destroyed to want to leave my apartment and wash you. If it's okay with you, I think I will fold you twice but like kind of sloppy and then put you behind the toilet and forget about you.

This is an apology to that cat I saw smashed in the road. I couldn't remember how to do cpr to a cat. Plus I didn't want to have to dodge cars."
When filling out job applications, you may encounter such stupid shit.

No one actually ever asks babies their opinion.

ps3 owners dont do stupid shit like this, jus sayin.

gotta keep those batteries fresh, I guess?

just her, the open road, and her hate machine.



I feel like anything with the word 'junior' in it, shouldnt be a food and liquor.

I had nightmares about this pizza...

straight up mile of port-a-potties.

Super secret sticker money attack.

Spencer Sotelo of Periphery hitting an invisible wall. If I remember correctly, I took this pic at Fubar in STL.

This might be one of my favorite documentaries of all time. It makes working in a parking lot seem insanely philosophical.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

I just finished this book. Makes me feel less insane about thoughts while at work. Here's an excerpt: 

"Because his eyebrows are perfect shapes--you think. Because he's friendly, and really understanding. Because he handled disappointment well. Not getting a new vacuum might cripple someone else. Send them into a crippling vertigo of despair. Not him though. His corduroy pants shield him from the crippling vertigo of despair."

Friday, November 4, 2011

There are only two places Ive seen armadillos; the zoo and dead in the road. Therefore, they must live in the road.

LORD OF THE LAND...aka apartment buildings.

Yeah this is your fifth studio album, I dont think youre selling crack anymore. Nice try, guy.