Saturday, April 28, 2012

 Read this Batman, first Batman comic I've ever read. It's really weird, it references Batman getting a new costume and something something about turning to the Darkness. He's following some girl named Sleeper who kills people and takes their hearts somehow. But the main thing here is that Batman looks like a COMPLETE weirdo in this, gritting his teeth hardcore and having a beak for a nose.

What is Batman doing here?

My friend bought this so I borrowed it. The lead isnt Peter Parker, but a guy named Miguel O'hara, looks like Peter though. With that name, it seems like the writers couldnt really decide on an ethnicity for the guy. Miguel is working for a genetics company, he disagrees with their testing methods, so he says he's gonna quit. However, the big boss man tricks Miguel into taking a drug called The Rapture, which leaves people heavily addicted and not able to function without it. Bad news for Miguel since the company in question makes The Rapture, and thats sort of where it ends, seems interesting enough.

This is from the 90s, so there are ads a plenty, but this one struck a cord with me. I remember playing this in arcades and having Michael Jordan pop up saying "Now remember kids, stay in school." Made me lul, even back then. Not too subtle, you guys.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Cmon, WHO didnt just watch this futbol match? I missed the first half, due to work, but I caught the second half and ohhhh man. Ima for Barca. That goal by Alexis gave me hope, that whole pinball thing going on there, but fucking Ronaldo had to come and get another goal, so nonchalant. Barca kept fighting but it wasnt enough. It was a great match, but I feel like Barca had possession the majority of the time, but they just werent taking shots, and they kept passing to Xavi almost every time. Real Madrid was crowding Messi hardcore, it was just too much. I am sadz, but I love a good game.

Friday, April 20, 2012

if you thought it couldnt get any worse than Rebecca Black, oh man are you in for a treat.

even turtles have dreams.

this is how we issue challenges these days, and if you say this with enough conviction, even if you know youre wrong, people will believe whatever you say.

Jessie is the most annoying character on Toy Story, hands down.

I wrote this with my left hand for extra derpiness.

Slinky-dog really is dependable.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I just did an oral spanish exam over skype, it was weird, but since my teach is from Spain, we talked about soccer, she's a Real Madrid fan, and Im for Barcelona, naturally we conflicted. Fuckin' future, man.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Here's the infamous Tupac Hologram vid from Coachella, I dont necessarily have an opinion on it.

Friday, April 13, 2012

I watched the movie, then I decided to read the book. It's sort of just about a bunch of cynical college students talking about fucking and doing drugs, so if youre into that, you will like it. I liked it, but it wasnt anything too extraordinary. There was a chapter narrated by Patrick Batemen from American Psycho. Patrick's brother, Sean, is one of the main characters in Rules of Attraction. I did like how it was written, each chapter was narrated by a different character. The story centered around Sean, Lauren, and and Paul, but various other characters would show up as well. It was funny and well written. For instance, Sean and Lauren would be at a party, doing drugs, and Sean would be laying down the mack on ol' Lauren saying stuff like "My words caused her to smile shyly and she was at a loss for words," but then the next chapter would be Lauren saying "I hate Sean, he disgusted me so much that I couldnt bare to talk to him." It was entertaining. I watched the movie, read the book, and now I will have to watch the movie again so I can nitpick the differences between the two like an elitist fuck.

Oh my god, I just discovered TED talks, thanks to Netflix. I havent thoroughly researched TED talks, but it is essentially a conference held annually with a specific theme where people come to talk about the topic, like comedy, crime, or the most interesting set of speeches Ive seen thus far, the man talks. The man talks are just about quintessential man things, like video games and rock climbing, swimming at the north pole, just MAN stuff. The speeches are funny, but enlightening. I love things that make me think about other things. Finding this was quite the breath of fresh air, I think sometimes that life starts seeming a little dreary until you remember that someone out there is doing something awesome. One guy had a talk about the shape of the universe and cited philosophers and astronomers, and I wont pretend to know what the hell he was talking about, but it's still cool nonetheless. Here are two things that I found in the man TED talks:

This man is Yves Rossy, a swiss man, also known as Jetman, who basically flies a jetpack! A DAMN JETPACK. He flies through the air using his body. Granted he has to drop out of plane to get the momentum to get doing or whatever but man once he gets going...damn.

Here's another guy, this is his actual speech from TED talks so this will give you an idea about how most of the speeches go. He demonstrates how to "hack" a wii controller. I was completely unaware that the wii controller had a infrared camera in it that could be used to make smart boards or 3D images using glasses, and stuff like that. I mean it doesnt change the fact that Wiis are super dumb anyway, but still. Check it out.

Now, for the past two years I have gone to Lollapalooza, and despite being full of hipsters and the like, it is a crazy amount of fun. This summer my friend is moving to Germany, so I am going to go visit her and hang out in Europe for a week or two. After seeing the line-up for this year's Lollapalooza, it just feels wrong to not go. I mean I liked RHCP when I was a kid, black keys saw them at the 2010 lolla, madeon, frank ocean, but also at the drive in? I HAVE to see at the drive in, I never thought the opportunity would come up. So Im probably going to go to lolla for one day, drive up to Chicago from Arkansas, do lolla things, and drive home. Seems logical enough to me.

Monday, April 9, 2012

This is Casey Neistat's new video about the Nike Fuelband. I am fan of his work, as well as his insatiable sense of adventure. The guy never stops. The Nike Fuelband is also really cool, but damn expensive. Take a look.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Starship Troopers would have been an entirely different movie if Rico and all the other soldiers would have just stopped and listened to the aliens.

Im tired of people always saying things like "I wish my mind had an off switch," or something like that. You in fact have two of them, one if you are missing half of your head. They are called your temples, and one good hit will shut up that mind of yours.

This is actually a really cool idea and Im surprised it hasnt happened yet, maybe it has, I dont know. Here's the kickstarter for it if you want to donate.

Starship Troopers versus Halo.

Kenshi from Mortal Kombat is cool and all, but IRL he's gotta rock a cane when going out and about.

Friday, April 6, 2012

I was in Barnes and Noble when this hottie strolled my way. This is what a sixty+ year old playa looks like, ladies and gentleman. And it looks good.

Ohhhh man, where do I even begin with this book? I am so glad that I read it. Normally, I would say that humor is difficult to translate into a book, but Tucker Max seems to have made an art of it. His debauchery knows no bounds. He convinced girls to fuck him and do his laundry just because he wrote a book. Woah, the power of literature.  Here are some images from the book:

and if you're curious as to what it looks like when someone gets a blowjob and an xray at the same time, here's the link. but I do warn you that you will not be able to UN-see it.

Here's an excerpt called Aren't You Lucky?:
"One of the first girls I ever fucked from my website told me she had two tattoos. One was right between her breasts, her initials in Celtic. Whatever. During foreplay, I asked her where the other one was. She hesitated, then said: "Oh well, I might as well show it to you, you're going to see it anyway." She pulled her pants off to reveal a long string of words right above her vagina, stretching all the way across her pelvis. Set inside alternating blue stars and pink hearts, like a slutty Lucky Charms leprechaun, were the words: "Aren't you lucky?" I looked at it for a second. "That depends on how many guys have been asked that question before me, doesn't it?" "

This one was good, but there are so many more hilarious stories in the book, but I wasn't about to type a bunch of pages. Read this.

This is Sam Pink's new book, No One Can Do Anything Worse to You than You Can. It consists of four lengthy poems, all of which are fantastic and delicious. I have been wanting a Sam Pink tattoo since I started reading his books and this cover is really well done, but I would get it sans the butterflies because butterflies are downright queer.

 Here's an excerpt from the poem A Shield Made of Napkins. "I see other people and wonder if they've had the exact same thoughts as me and if so, would that be better or worse than otherwise. I see other people and have no thoughts. The worst feeling is hearing someone else express a thought you wish wasn't true but have already accepted. Money. Shit. BB gun. Death. Unmarked grave in the woods."

Monday, April 2, 2012

halo is a damn rip-off of starship troopers.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

My laptop is looking fly now AND this will ward off thieves.