Thursday, February 28, 2013

Just finished this book, "The driver's guide to hitting pedestrians," by Anderson Prunty. I bought the book because of the title and it was published by Lazy Fascist, the same place that publishes all of Sam Pink's work. The book is a collection of random incredibly short, short stories, only the first one is about hitting pedestrians, but that's okay. Interesting short read.

All the stories are too long for me to even consider typing out one in its' entirety, but here are the first few sentences of a story called "Lost."

"Lon spends three weeks growing a thick, dark mustache. One day he invites his girlfriend, Tina, over. It isn't long before he is performing cunnilingus on her. She laughs and tells him she likes the way the mustaches feels. Within a few minutes, she reaches a shivering climax. Afterwards, Tina giggles and leaves. It isn't until the next morning, when Lon goes into the bathroom to shave, he notices his mustaches missing. "That bitch," he says between clenched teeth....."

Monday, February 25, 2013

On the left we have Andrew W.K. and on the right we have lead singer of Born of Osiris, Ronnie Canizaro. When I see Andrew, I think of Ronnie, and vice-versa.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Once he got over his initial fear, ol' Frank stumbled into a career.

Friday, February 22, 2013

I wonder if Mr. Krabs adopted Pearl so he could get a check every month.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

No lie, there are actually penguins in Africa. They're endangered, but that is not surprising. They're called the African Penguin, how creative, or the Black-footed Penguin, equally as creative.

Their nickname is the Jackass Penguin because of the donkey-like sound they make, but it does seem like a jackass move to be a penguin and live in Africa.

Monday, February 18, 2013

I thought the water jetpack couldn't be topped, but it has, with the flyboard, aka water propelled wakeboard. So awesome.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Meant to post this video a few days ago, whatever. Tyler the Creator's Domo 23.
Oh dear god, you can BUY those shitty school desks. You know, the ones with the bar attaching the seat to the actual desk. I'm in college still using these damn things. Just look at it.

Can you imagine a worse sight than seeing one of these in your own home? If I walked in and saw this, my instinct would be to torch the desk and the surrounding areas. Check you later, house. And get this shit, the thing costs $155 dollars on amazon. The fuck?

Here's the link if you have a disposable income and want to ruin someone's life.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

this is the worst fucking game I have ever encountered.

Let's be honest, if you're going to insist on doing the running man as your sole dance move, you need to, at least, be doing it correctly.

Friday, February 8, 2013

I'm reading Monster Planet and there is a scene with a submarine. The scene made me think about how I will probably never see a submarine let alone ride in one. That's pretty fucked up, if you ask me. I love the goddamn ocean.

So I got to thinking, "surely there is some touristy submarine thing set up somewhere." And I was right, because this is Murrica. California and Hawaii have some places to sub. To go submarining? Not sure what the verb would be, but check this shit out.

This one looks like a damn yacht.

Sunken airplane.

Not even a slight resemblance to a submarine.

If I'm going subbing, it's going to be in a dirty, black, old navy submarine, that could be faulty. I like the potential danger in it.

Dead Space 3, new turtle beach headset, douche...TO THE MAX. But great gaming is great.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Donde estan los power nodes?

Monday, February 4, 2013

I am 21 and I just saw the Globetrotters, yep. I was alarmed at the lack of mystery-solvin'. I was unaware they had a mascot named Globey, who is a giant globe.

Also, after being there for about 15 minutes, seeing the kind of kid format it had, my friend says "I need to rob a bank after this to feel like a woman." I lold.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Ladies and gentlemen, the characters of H. Jon Benjamin.

For the record, I would go to this party and order a sex on the beach, knowing full well I would be handed a beer.